On the radio

So my dear friends Barbara and Graham Dean invited me to come on their radio show, Common Sense Songs on WBCR (www.berkshireradio.org) from 8 to 9 PM this evening. For a week I practiced an hour every night, singing every song on my CD so I'd be comfortable with any of them.

I got there with my rough mixdown of songs, the master not having been completed yet. And I wound up not playing a single song live! I guess you could say I chickened out. Every time I practiced, and no matter how many times I played each song, it seemed I could barely get through one without making some mistake -- a wrong chord, forgetting a verse, saying a word wrong, hitting a wrong note. The CD is imperfect, but at least I know every mistake on it, and they're small. I didn't want to chance blanking out on the words or playing a bad chord or messing up a riff. So I brought my guitar and songs for nothing.

But I think we had a really good conversation, I got most of the points in that I wanted to, the songs were played at the right times and with the right introductions and smooth segues. Graham and Barbara were wonderful hosts and kept the conversation flowing and relevant. Maybe some of you reading this heard about it on that radio show. It was the first time I made public the fact that I'm blogging. This is more like a diary for me...until now.

I was on the phone and email about the CD cover right up until it was time to make the one and a half hour drive to Great Barrington, MA for the radio show. There seems to be a problem with the way the writing is on the spine. But my son-in-law says he can fix it. And I couldn't download the proofs that Oasis sent me so they're going to put it in the mail. How quaint.

The day after tomorrow is Summersongs! That's why I wanted the CD to be ready by now. But my friends will just have to wait. Meantime they can read this blog. When the CD is really, truly, out in the world I'm going to post all the lyrics and back stories of all the songs on the album.

Patience Is Required

I got back from a lovely 10-day vacation, thinking that the music part of the CD would be all wrapped up. My daughter and son-in-law were working on the artwork. I somewhat frantically called them before I left, afraid that the music would be done but not the art, and the CD wouldn't be ready by my target of the last weekend in August, when Summersongs would meet.

My daughter called me when I was shopping at the Farmers Market in Seattle, and again when I was boarding the plane to go home. They were working hard on getting the cover art completed, and consulting with me when they had a question. Meantime, the music wasn't getting done. So when I got home I found that the art was done in time, but the CD wasn't mastered. It wouldn't be ready in time for Summersongs after all.

But the master master, Mark Dann, wanted a little more time to make the album even better than it already was, thanks to Vito Petroccitto's expert mixing as well as his musical contributions, and those of many others. So I said yes -- what the heck, if it wasn't going to be ready for Summersongs, it might as well be as good as possible. This may be the only solo CD I ever make, it should reflect my (and Vito's and Mark's) best work.

My dream had been to have the CC done before my vacation, so I could hand out copies to my friends who put me up, fed me and showed me around their respective cities and towns. Then I had dreamed of being one of several aspiring singer-songwriters to show up at Summersongs with a new album. But it was not to be. In the long run, it won't matter. I ordered 1,000 copies; this CD will be adorning my basement for another 30 years so a month or two one way or the other won't make a difference. I swallowed my disappointment and moved on...I guess...

Now I'm trying to figure out a date for the mandatory "CD Release Party." Oy -- I don't want to think about that now!

David Wilcox on songwriting

Hi again. I don't know David Wilcox, and I'm not familiar with his work. But I read an interview with him in The Poughkeepsie Journal (Friday, July 31, 2009) and a lot of things he said resonated with me. Here are some quotes:

I guess my first goal with music is not simply starting with an idea. I love symbol rather than sign. I love music that draws me out into the next stage of what I'm going to become. The writing process has always been a wonderful adventure. I feel something in a piece of music or a phrase and follow that emotion and graduallly craft the song that way. I can write a song that's not about me but about who I might become...

Years ago, the music was the little window I got right in my life. The rest was trying to find that level of purpose and focus and sort of meaning. So through that microcosm of music, I learned the lessons of how to do everything else. It used to be very difficult. It was sort of like someone on a trampoline trying to look over a large hedge. Most of my life was nowhere near approaching the joy or presence I found in my music...

[I first picked up a guitar] when I was 18. At the time, it felt like, here is a joy that is unfamiliar. I just wanted to be around that feeling. Little by little, I started to feel like it wasn't escapist. It was the first clue in a long treasure hunt to find the joy in my life...

[Music matters because] I can get back in touch with my heart and get a glimpse of where someone finds their hope. They take me there. For me, it's a powerful glimpse into someone else's heart, especially when the song is written with that respect for the listener. I'm very grateful there is music. It saved my life.

Singing for free

Today I went to the peace vigil at the corner of Routes 9 and 9D in Wappingers Falls. It's been held every Saturday from noon to 2 p.m. since before we invaded Iraq (the second time). Pete Seeger often comes here. There was an article about this vigil in the New York Times a few years ago, after which attendance increased dramatically. It also appeared for a few seconds toward the end of the movie about Pete, "The Power of Song." Since Obama was elected attendance has fallen off. Often the counter demonstrators across the road have more people than we do.

When I arrived today there were about three people; a couple more showed up after I did. It was very hot and sunny, but it was hard to complain after the cold, rainy June and July we had. Much of the talk was about Pete because PBS had aired excerpts of the Madison Square Garden concert last May 3, marking his 90th birthday.

At 2:00 it's our custom to sing a few peace songs before going our separate ways. We started, as we usually do, with "Study War No More." Then one of the protesters, Enoch, played a great version of "Woodstock." Then we cleaned up all our signs and flags and departed.

For me, that's what singing is for -- to bring people together, to give energy and beauty to what might otherwise be a dull task: protesting. Not to show off, and certainly not for the money.

From there I went to a picnic held by my CSA (community supported agriculture) farm, the Poughkeepsie Farm Project. My folk trio, The Raggedy Crew (www.myspace.com/theraggedycrew) performed -- again, for free. Did I mention that it was very hot today? It didn't seem like anyone was listening. I find it distracting to be singing and playing when no one is paying attention, and I made a lot of mistakes. But I told myself, I have to practice playing under all kinds of conditions. Plus, some people were listening. Later, someone I hadn't even known was there told me she enjoyed the music; she was way in the back where I couldn't see her. I have to learn to concentrate better and not let negative thoughts ("nobody's listening; why am I even bothering; oops, I made another mistake but I bet nobody noticed anyway") get the better of me.

Thank you for listening.

Getting closer

Today I called Oasis (http://www.oasiscd.com/) and got a quote. Then I called Vito (www.iamvito.com) and gave him the go-ahead to send my CD to Mark Dann (http://www.markdannrecording.com/) for mastering.

Listening to the pre-mastered CD, I'm feeling very proud of myself and grateful for all the wonderful talent (other people's) that went into the making of it. And also hoping that some of the flaws I hear in my voice and guitar will be lessened in the process of mastering, which I still don't understand what it is but am led to believe that it is a sort of magic incantation that is muttered over the CD and makes it "shimmer." It all sounds like something out of Harry Potter, but whatever works.

Now I'm planning my CD release party and wondering what to do next. (Besides try to recoup the money I laid out.)

Giving birth to a new CD

Today I spent a few hours with the co-producer of my first solo CD, "Full Circle: Songs of Peace and Love by Pat Lamanna." He's Vito Petroccitto Jr, and he's the nicest, most laid-back, easiest to work with person I know. And, he's making me sound good!

I keep wondering why I'm spending all this time on money getting this CD out. I have a full-time job; I'm not a kid; I don't have the energy I used to and I sometimes wonder if I look like a fool at the open mics with the young folk with their electric guitars and jazzy chords. But all I can say is, the songs keep telling me to do it. They won't leave me alone.

I can use the analogy of giving birth, something I'm quite familiar with, having done it three times. The songs are like a baby in me. They're going to come out, whatever I say. The birth pangs can't be denied: the money, the time, most of all, the huge learning curve as I try to figure out MySpace and Blogger.com and creating links and CDBaby and who knows what all else. But like a baby, the songs are not truly of me: they are separate entitities, and though they come through me, they are not of me, as Khalil Gibran puts it in "The Prophet." Somehow I became impregnated with these songs, and they insist upon being heard.

First post

It feels strange to be blogging. It's like making your diary public. Why would I want to? And why would you want to read it?

What I want to do with this blog is write about my experiences as a folksinger-songwriter. If you are also a singer-songwriter, maybe you'll be able to identify with some of what I'm experiencing. Maybe you'll be able to identify anyway, if you're in any way creative (and if you're breathing, you're creative in some way). I'll try to trace my thoughts and feelings as I pursue this journey, rather late in my life (I'm a sort of singing Grandma Moses).

I actually knew I was a songwriter from the time I was seven and a half. I had just recently arrived at Camp Woodland, where I would spend six incredible summers. Someday I'll write a blog about that. We were preparing for the annual Fourth of July celebration, and we were told by the counselors that our bunk would be writing a song to the tune of "Marching to Pretoria." They had already written the chorus: "We are singing our freedom song, our freedom song, our freedom song, we are singing our freedom song, our freedom song, hooray!" They'd also written the first verse: "Here it is the Fourth of July and so we are all together, so we are all together, so we are all together..." We were asked to come up with more verses. Here I was, seven and a half, at camp for the first time, just learning this song, and a verse popped into my head: "Firecrackers pop, pop, pop, we set them all off together, set them all off together..." The counselors were very pleased, and wrote that down with lots of praise for me. "Who else has a verse?" I raised my hand again, and came up with another verse, which they wrote down with much praise. Then they asked, "Does anyone have a verse besides Patty?" (that's what they called me at Camp Woodland). I learned at that moment that (1) I was a songwriter and (2) it's a good idea to be quiet and give others a turn.

I kept writing songs through my teens and into my twenties. I played coffeehouses, even managed two coffeehouses for a time. (That will make another good post.) Then I got married and had kids, and barely picked up my guitar for about 15 years. There was a song or two, maybe I averaged one every couple of years, but mostly that was put on hold while I raised my family, went to social work school, and worked as a social worker.

Then my husband died, my kids got older, I met friends who wanted to play music, and we formed a band, The Raggedy Crew. (There is a link to them somewhere on this blog.) When the last child moved out, I started going to a songwriting camp, Summersongs, also in the Catskill Mountains of New York State, less than half an hour from Camp Woodland, and I felt I'd come full circle. Hence the title song, and the title, of my first solo CD, Full Circle, which will hopefully be out by the end of August, for the next Summersongs.

In future blogs I'll write about the process of recording that CD, managing coffeehouses, Summersongs, and all sorts of other things. Ta ta for now.